Vagina... let's talk about it.

I sat on the couch with my roommate, checking my email and reading a local blog, Life + Kids, which is where I go when I start feeling stir crazy and overwhelmed by toddler energy. Terri is a saint, working hard to post events and information for kiddos and parents alike... I wanted to find some fun spring events for the tiny bean, but I actually found something that interested me much more. Next Saturday a group of citizens will be meeting to discuss VBAC (Vaginal Birth After Cesarean) particularly the local hospital's policy against it. Its an event that I'm sure will draw quite a crowd, and I'm anxious to see what comes of it. I said "wow, this is interesting" and when she asked what I immediately responded "I assure you it will not interest you a bit" ...somehow a vagina's rights become so much more interesting to those who have pushed children out of them.

I have no experience with cesarean. I'm speaking for my vagina, not for my belly. My daughter came wailing into this world directly from said vagina, which I might say was pretty much exactly how I intended it. With the rising trend of elective cesarean also rises a new level of birth awareness, moms hoping to do things the natural way, the water way, the orgasmic way, hell... just their way. Don't get me wrong here, I'm not knocking anyone for having a baby however they see fit. I can see great benefits to an elective cesarean, it just wasn't for me. I can't be on time for a coffee date, I'd assuredly be late for the birth of my own child.

I went into labor the way that I think many young mothers do, a belly full of baby and a head full of big ideas... my doctor was very patient and put up with lots of talk about natural birth, questions about various methods and cesarean rates, endless talk about Pitocin and painkillers, and in the end he said what I wanted to hear... "its up to you how you want to do this" ...perfect. Sortof.

You see, my pregnancy was basically perfect. I exercised, I slept, I ate, I didn't have even one sip of wine... I had no worries going into the big day. I had taken the classes, practiced my breathing, and things were progressing exactly as they should... My hips spread, the baby dropped, I was good and fat, hormonal, always hungry, and my vagina... oh lord, it wasn't pretty. I knew this was all going as planned. I was shocked, however, when I arrived at the hospital. I was the only pregnant woman I saw in the completely full maternity ward all day long. I walked the halls, peeked at babies, listened as other women laboring in their rooms, made small talk with the nurses... but no other patients all day, everyone was laboring privately, it was surprising to say the least. I don't think I expected to hee-hoo-hee-hee-hoo in a circle of equally swollen soon-to-be mamas, but I sure never expected to be the only pregnant belly I saw in the maternity ward.

I noticed quickly that the nurses were making more frequent stops in my room and started to worry that something was wrong... they weren't really doing anything, just chatting with me. I chatted back, curious and excited, they all asked how long I planned to go naturally and I responded to every one "as long as I can, I just want to experience every bit of this." When the nurses from my OBGYN's office from across the hospital campus came to visit me all together in a group, I knew something was up. They informed me I was the only one in the ward doing things naturally and that they were all rooting for me. The pressure was officially on.

I didn't have miss Marti Pearl naturally, that is, painkiller-less... Pitocin-riddled, stalled at 7cm for over half a day, and exhausted after 15 hours of intense contractions I asked for an epidural, which numbed exactly half of my body. On the right side I coudln't have told you if I had a foot at all, on the left... I would've gladly noticed my foot if it weren't for my darn uterus. I watched, in a giant mirror, as my daughter was born, and it was incredibly beautiful. Scarily foreign vagina and all... it was amazing. I experienced labor in the fullest sense that I possibly could, and I am thrilled with the outcome. I'm lucky.

Would I do it differently if I had it all to do over again? Probably. I'd insist on waiting on the Pitocin, I'd walk longer, relax more, laugh harder, I might even find a big tub... I wouldn't feel so rushed, I'd ask my doctor to work on my schedule instead of his, I'd eat some grapes when I wanted them... You see, there's so many things we consider in hindsight, especially when it comes to the most important event of our lives.

I have a very dear friend who had her daughter by cesarean after a particularly difficult labor, her daughter is now 5 and her voice still cracks a little when she talks about it. She regrets not being able to experience the labor she planned and hoped for. My heart broke as she admitted she felt like less of a woman for not being able to naturally birth her child... I just can't imagine it. We place so much importance on how we labor because dammit, it is important. We all want to have control, that's why we buy the books, take the classes, fret and prepare.

Prohibiting vaginal birth after cesarean is outdated and unnecessary. With 60 - 80 percent of women who attempt a VBAC delivering vaginally it astounds me that hospitals like Washington Regional still have anti-VBAC policies. I have to side with my old pal Michelle Duggar (seriously girl, you still haven't given me a ring-a-ding and I'm still up for that beauty salon visit!) on this one... "We are thankful our hospital allows trying a VBAC as long as they have an anesthesiologist on hand in case there is an emergency," Duggar has had 15? 16? VBACs at this point, and is a big supporter of women giving it a shot. She's VERY lucky to have a fantastic doctor that will allow it, and I hope her story will help bring awareness to this issue.

Its about time we got with the times here in Arkansas. According to the Birth Network of Northwest Arkansas:

One in three women in America give birth by undergoing major abdominal surgery.

In Northwest Arkansas, vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) is banned in most hospitals.

In our area, few women have access to professional nurse-midwifery care in a hospital and there are no freestanding birth centers.

Events like this give me hope that we'll be able to start having babies however we see fit. Check out all of the cesarean awareness events here, and here's another that I'm thrilled about: "The Vagina Monologues" comes to Fayetteville! not much labor involved, but vagina is vagina, right?

I've always had this idea in my head of what Jazzercise must be like... I imagine women my mom's age and older bouncing around in front of a wall-sized mirror to upbeat 80's music wearing leotards and leg warmers... I know I'm not the only one.

There's been a Jazzercise center in Fayetteville for as long as I can remember. Its on the main drag in a tiny little shopping center. It just so happens that I go by it often, since its close to my mom's house. I was amused a couple of weeks ago that the sign out front said "this isn't your mom's Jazzercise". A week later my mom told me she'd gotten a pamphlet in the mail and that she was thinking about trying it out. I told her she should. When she asked if I wanted to go with her I didn't know what to say... on one hand it seemed like a good way to get me motivated to exercise, but it all seemed so... dorky. I also really figured it must be expensive, or at least, more than I'd want to pay to bounce around to 80's music with a room full of middle-aged sweaty gals.

She was determined to check it out, so the next time we talked she asked again, and this time threw in that she found out they have free childcare and that the first class is totally free. I really had no way out at that point, so I went.

From first glance around the room, I was utterly shocked. It seemed as though my original fears were unfounded... there was a huge range of ages and ethnicities and there were no leotards in sight! Plus, the dreaded mirror didn't exist! I was extremely relieved that I didn't have to watch myself shimmy and wobble for an entire hour. Its just a big open room with a stage at the front. The instructor does her thing on the stage, and you have the rest of the room to do yours. There's mats, exercise balls, and weights all there for the taking. The childcare room is full of toys and kids, and I was actually very impressed. Its clean and the kids have loads of stuff to play with.

My first class was awkward to say the least. I tripped over my own feet, bungled the moves like nobody's business, and felt as though my heart would absolutely explode by the time I left... but I really actually enjoyed it! In fact, my only concern at that point was the cost. Young parents, especially those that are small business owners, such as myself, don't have money floating around like maybe we'd like... in fact, most of the time we're budgeted pretty tight. I was very nervous about signing up to do something that wasn't just absolutely necessary. I was very glad to hear there's no contract and that the monthly fee was lower than anywhere else in town that offered aerobics classes. In fact, my initial fee of $50 and $40/month was discounted by $20 because of a handy coupon, so I was sold.

I've gone to 2 classes this week. Though I'm feeling a bit sore today, I'm so excited about this! Not only am I finally going to focus on getting in shape, I'm not paying an arm and a leg for it. Not to mention that I can't help but think that getting out of my comfort zone and dancing for an hour a day can't hurt anything at all... right? Right. Here's to looking good naked...