My friend Mary wants to lose 150 pounds.



Its a big job, and its so damn hard to do even with the full support of everyone in your life. Its making different choices, staying consistent, and re-training your brain to recognize the difference between unhealthy habits and actual hunger. In a society where fast food is more readily available than fresh food, its so difficult to find a balance between eating well and eating realistically.

Mary is a mother of 3, she shapes her day around her kiddos, her husband, her family, and her close friends. She commits herself to making a happy home, kissing boo-boos, and trying to keep up with mountains of laundry. She's remarkable though because I have honestly never seen this woman not smiling, in the 5+ years I've known her I have never seen her cry, or frown, or mope. She is just a ray of sunshine all the time. Through financial difficulty, through the ups and downs of marriage, child-rearing, exhaustion... she's always got something positive to say.



When I lost my 100 pounds, Mary was a constant force in my life. She was the most encouraging friend I had all. the. time. Now women, none of us want to admit this but we all hate to see our friends get skinnier than us. There's something within all of us that makes us go "wait, she looks better than me! well crap." We're all guilty of it, its just part of having a vagina. None of us can deny that, we've all felt it at some point. Over the years, she has never neglected to tell me how wonderful I looked every time I saw her. She never distanced herself from me or made catty remarks... she was 100% supportive always.

She's been trying to lose 150 pounds for a while now. She's lost and gained, and lost again, but she fights what every person does... its just hard, its even harder when you add a family and a full schedule, and its nearly impossible when you're a mama who dedicates every bit of your life to your family and your kids. If Mary is guilty of anything, its neglecting herself. She wants to be on the Biggest Loser. So far she's been to 2 casting calls and she's trying to garner support on the internet. If anyone deserves an opportunity to focus solely on herself, it is her because I guarantee that if you gave someone so determined and committed the tools to improve her life, she would absolutely soar.



So with that said, support my friend Mary. She absolutely deserves it.


Post this button on your blog to support Mary

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Good luck, mama! You are wonderful, beautiful, and you deserve this. I'm behind you all the way.

I haven't posted in a coon's age. Want to know why?

I'm working myself to death, y'all. I'm in such desperate need of a vacation that I don't know what to do with myself. I love what I do, and I feel so very thankful that for the first time since I started my business in 2006 (www.lushinnovative.com) I am completely covered up with work. Its an incredible feeling, to know that I'm finally making a living doing what I love, and that people recognize that I'm really pretty damn good at it!


When I started my company it was because I had no other option. Pregnant and jobless I turned to the one career I avoided like the plague, growing up with a family of designers I never considered graphic design art... I wouldn't ever "sell out" like that. Blah blah blah, whatevs. I was silly, and now I am a fantastic graphic designer who totally kicks ass and takes names on a regular basis. Its a life, and I really do love it. I work from wherever I want, whenever I want. My very favorite part is getting to create all day long. I help shape businesses and directly contribute to other people's success and there's no better feeling. It is wonderful.

You know what's not wonderful, though? Not being able to consistently provide the security for my family that we honestly need. I'm at the point where I have to honestly look at my life and say "is it more important to own my own business, to be my own boss... or to make a good living and live with less stress?" I'm just so tired of working all day long, just to come home and work all night. 12-16 hour days are completely normal. Everyday I long for the opportunity to sit and not work, to actually relax and not feel guilty for it.


Perhaps its because I'm overwhelmed, or because I haven't had a vacation in over a year, or because I'm exhausted... but I'm feeling a big need to make a change. Being a single mama and owning a small business is an amazing feat, and I'm so proud that I've made this work, but I have to wonder what our quality of life would be if the constant stress over finances eased just a bit.

Marti Pearl and I moved into our home in August. I painted every room, and its absolutely beautiful now! For the first time, my little girl and I have a home of our own that is completely "us" ...Marti Pearl's room with the chalkboard walls, the "princess" bed, my room with the dark blue walls, the bright red dresser... its just perfect.

As a parent, I feel thrilled that I can provide this for my daughter. As a single mama, I feel thankful to the people who have made it possible. People who love us and care for us more than they even do themselves. When one of my closest friends told me that her parents would let us rent this place, I cried. The time could not have been more right. They've been such an amazing support to us. To have a home I take pride in, that I can pay for myself is so very important. They are making it possible for me to succeed, and they're giving me more freedom than I've ever expected.

I am so very blessed.

I'm a single mom of 1 dating a single dad of 3. This is my first relationship with a man who has children... Initially, I was hesitant but excited. I'll be honest... I'm not nuts about other people's kids. Awful, I know... but I'm just not. I think its basically because my kid is so far beyond awesome that when I'm around kids that aren't, I feel bad for everyone involved. I mean, except for my kid... because she's obviously superior. Really though, um... I like awesome kids. The rest I'm kindof "meh" about.

In dating post-separation, I found myself stuck, facing the same issues over and over again. I'm an amazing woman and my daughter is (see above) really awesome. We're both entertaining, beautiful, and good for laughs. We're adventurous & spontaneous, open and loving... we've really got a lot to offer. I was dating single guys with no kids over and over again. All different ages with different careers and lives, it always came down to the same issue... I'm a really big package. Talk about a whole lot of responsibility from the get-go.


None of those guys were interested in dating a mom... and I couldn't blame them. I wasn't seeking out a dad either. I had plenty on my plate without any of that business and I was dating guys who were in the same exact position. Career-driven, preoccupied, understandably self-centered... they just weren't on the same page as I was. Frustrating as that was sometimes, I understood it.

I never really considered dating a single father, but when I became interested in the boy, it was because he was a dad. Over a series of messages one night, he told me about his kids, and I found myself in crush city with this amazing father.


But don't think I really understood what that meant for me, for us. In fact, I'm still learning everyday. The boy and I have been together for over 6 months now, and we're past "dating" and more in "serious relationship" territory, full of big talk and commitments. We find comfort, understanding, and mutual support in each other. I kiss his forehead after a long day and he takes my trash out. We're both looking forward to many more years of finding toys in our tennis shoes and quiet time after the kids go to bed...


There's a lot of miles between 2 people dating who both happen to have kids and a "blended family". Right now, we're right in the middle of it. Our kids love each other, his family has welcomed us with open arms, hell, I'm even good friends with his ex wife... My daughter is nuts about him, his boys love me, and I'm finally getting to know his youngest, which out of respect for her mother, I've not been able to develop a relationship with yet. We are doing the very best we can, and for the first time since we've been together, it finally feels like everything is simply falling into place.

For the record, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the term "blended family" ...I mean, its appropriate enough for the situation but at this point in my own relationship it'd be better described as a big ol' mess of kids who aren't quite sure what their relationship is, and 2 parents who are trying hard to figure that out themselves.


I got snowed in with his family for Christmas. His whole family with my small family of 2, spending the holiday together. We were simply not ready for that. Its not that we're not madly in love, or that we're not completely committed to this relationship, its just that we haven't figured out what all of this commitment means yet. I worried that it would really put a strain on us, but we're closer than ever.

I realized never stopped to consider how I felt about becoming a "stepmom" or starting a "blended family" - I just fell in love.

I never expected to gain a family from a relationship, especially so soon after the family I'd planned on and worked so hard for dissolved.

Really, what it comes down to for me is that I never expected to fall in love with 4 people instead of 1.

But I couldn't be happier.


This week I'll be exploring a lot of things that have been on my heart all year. 2009 has been a year of self-discovery and improvement and I have no doubt that 2010 will be even better. I am one hell of an uncommon mama, but you guys don't even know the half of it. I'm overflowing with stories that I'm finally ready to share.

This blog will be changing quite a bit. For now, just get the wine ready, mama's got a hell of a lot to talk about. <3

I am thankful for my beautiful daughter, wonderful friends, loving family, and plentiful work.

This Thanksgiving brought time to reflect on change and new beginnings. My dad started chemo on Monday, but was well enough to prepare a delicious turkey on Wednesday. My mom, sister, Bean girl and I all sat down at his table for the first time ever this Thanksgiving. We ate and laughed, and even though we're all feeling uncertain about the future and concerned about his health, we enjoyed ourselves and our time together immensely.

Bean girl had Thanksgiving with her father this year and I spent the holiday with my boyfriend's family, who enjoyed this year as their first in Arkansas. It was beautiful- his mother really made a feast! The sheer amount of food was almost overwhelming, and good lord was it tasty...

Its so strange watching a family that's so different from my own, their customs and traditions... the family dynamic is foreign but warm, very open and accepting. We all circled around the table; his father & mother, brother, & children... myself, their family friend, and my boyfriend's ex-wife & her boyfriend... all sitting together as a family. They toasted and then his son asked everyone to say what we were thankful for. I said I was thankful to know everyone, and to be included. I fought tears yesterday thinking about how lucky I was.

Family is so very important. I look forward all year to Christmas, to spending time with my mom dad & sister, grandparents, aunts & uncles, cousins. Everyone's so spread out, from London, England to Baton Rouge, Louisiana... but we all come together once a year for a couple of days. We eat and open presents and tell stories, and god, do we laugh... My ex-husband says his favorite part of the divorce is not having to spend Christmas with my family anymore, and I'll never understand it. These people are my very core- and without them I'd be nothing. They are my support and understanding, to love them is to know me.

This year my family is extended. Being with my boyfriend and his family has been wonderful. They're a strong family... so loving. They believe wholeheartedly in an unbreakable bond in roots and blood, and its obvious in the way they speak, the stories they tell. They include everyone, and they're fiercely protective in a way I admire more than I could even say. Being included means being understood, loved, & protected. Getting to know them means understanding even more who the man I fell in love with really is, was, and will be.

This year it all just means so much more. Maybe its my dad being sick, or maybe its the divorce, or maybe, just maybe... I'm getting older and wiser and I'm realizing the true value of having people that can see me and love me, flaws and all, because of a common bond. There's just nothing more important than that.