I feel compelled to share something that some of you may have no care for since I'm aware many of you that read this blog live elsewhere, but I am absolutely so upset by a stunt our local news station pulled over the weekend and I'd love to hear some thoughts on it.

Its no secret that I love my town. I've lived in Fayetteville my entire adulthood, and I have spent more than my fair share of time in the local watering holes. I've befriended many a bartender, bar owner, and bar patron. I enjoy having the freedom to go out and have fun with my friends on my nights off from mommy-duty, and I've happily taken full advantage of the freedom I've had in the past year.

I have a weekly girls night where I go out with my friends for drinks, dancing, laughs, and gossip, and on one recent girls night a good friend and I witnessed a fight. It was completely shocking to both of us, and we were interviewed by the police immediately afterward. We noticed, while we were speaking with them, that there was a very large video camera around, and were surprised today when we were made aware of our presence in a local news report, found here, about the "Darker Side of Dickson Street" (we're about 1/3 of the way through, someone please alert the witness protection program! With all of this Dickson Street danger, it seems only appropriate, right?- haha)

As I watched, I realized nothing was right about this report. It was so unfortunate, the reporter and video camera chasing around the police officers... reporting that Dickson Street was "unsafe" because of violence... I was shocked.

The Fayetteville Flyer said it best...

I was surprised to see the second mention in as many days regarding a possible “unsafe” atmosphere on Dickson Street since, as a musician and writer for the Flyer, I spend a good amount of time in the area and have never gotten the feeling that it was a “dark” place to be. And no, I’m not always enjoying adult beverages when I’m there. Sometimes I’m working.

So if this “dark” and “unsafe” atmosphere on Dickson Street actually exists, we need to stop talking about it and start fixing it. But if it doesn’t, maybe we should be more responsible when describing the possible future location of one our city’s biggest and most valuable attractions (the Walton Arts Center). Especially right now.

I also spend some of my time on Dickson Street working... I meet with clients there, I take my daughter to events, I attend concerts and dance at the local clubs... its simply not an unsafe place in my opinion, and I've spent enough time there for my opinion to be quite accurate. Tonight was one of the nights I spent working. I visited with Bruce Walker of Flying Possum Leather, a local business owner who was very upset by the report. Bruce has spent 33 years on Dickson Street, if there's anyone who would qualify as a better expert, I certainly don't know them. He put it simply "A newspaper ran an article a while back with a timeline of all of these crimes committed in the downtown area, saying it wasn't safe... some of those crimes dated back even further than I've been in business." (Flying Possum Leather opened in 1976 on Dickson Street and has been there ever since)

I'll include my comment from the Fayetteville Flyer article, which really sums up my thoughts on the issue, and while I'm at it I'll put it out there that I am incredibly disappointed by the decision made by 40/29 to report and air this, I feel that they should take immediate steps to correct their mistake, as there is simply nothing in the report that does anything but bastardize a part of town that so many of Fayetteville's citizens love.

As one of the girls (a brief glimpse of us around 1/3 of the way through the segment) interviewed as a witness by the police after an altercation on Dickson Street I not only feel completely safe there, I am absolutely shocked that there are people who feel unsafe on Dickson Street. I honestly feel that 40/29 sensationalized violence in our town in order to make their story more interesting, and that’s downright sad, not to mention very irresponsible reporting.

I’ve lived in Fayetteville nearly my entire life and I feel completely safe here, in fact… I’d be willing to say I feel safer on Dickson Street by myself in the middle of the night than I do in parts of Little Rock or Memphis in the broad daylight. In my humble opinion, one of the finest parts of our little town, is that in many ways… it is still little. Even in this report, the “darker side” they showed was a few 20-somethings fighting late at night… as a mother I’m not concerned about taking my kiddo to a show at the Walton Arts Center, or even to have a slice of cheesecake at Common Grounds afterward. There is simply no violence that happens on Dickson Street (in what I’ve experienced over the last 10+ years) that would serve as a threat to us in any way.

To say that there is a “darker side” to Dickson implies something far more sinister than drunken college kids picking fights with each other. 40/29 showed a very biased report which I pray will not further impact the downtown businesses already working hard to get through these tough economic times.

Tsk tsk, 40/29… Absolutely not ok.

So local moms, I ask you this... What do you think? Do you feel safe taking your kids to see a performance at the Walton Arts Center? What is your opinion of Dickson Street in general?

Tell the Fayetteville Flyer your opinion of Dickson Street here.

This mothers day was just a lazy Sunday for me.
I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong... any Sunday that I get to take off of work, play with my little girl, and take a nap whenever I see fit is my kind of Sunday. I also had dinner with my mom and sister, drove in a big circle around my lovely rainy town, and caught up with my best friend while watching a good movie. It was a fantastic day.

It was not, however, a day that I received breakfast in bed or a handmade card, or a flower from my kiddo. It was my first Mothers Day as a single mom, and it was a little harder than I expected, quite honestly. I really spent a little bit of my day feeling sorry for myself, not because my toddler was too busy watching Max & Ruby to shower me with gifts, but because I was lonely. That's a hard thing for me to admit, its much more personal than I prefer to get in such a public forum... but there it is. When your kiddos are young, mothers day isn't so much "hey mom, look what I made for you" - its more "hey, go kiss your mommy on the cheek" and today, there was no one prompting my little monster to do or say sweet things. It served as a reminder that I really am doing this on my own, and that's hard sometimes. Then I realized that I was moping around because there was no one making plans to make my mothers day special, and I felt so absolutely silly for it.

As I laid down with Marti Pearl to read "Blue Hat Green Hat" or "Yellow Hat Book!!!!" as she calls it, for the 947th time in a row... I looked at her, smiled, and kissed her on the forehead. She sat up, grabbed my cheeks with her chubby little fingers and kissed me straight on the mouth, a good 15 seconds of apple-juice scented toddler lips pressed to mine, then a little giggle. She laid her head on my chest and pulled my t-shirt up just a little to play with my belly button for the remainder of her bedtime story... When her story was done we sang a couple songs, then talked for a bit, about snakes and stars and belly buttons and trampolines... its times like those that I don't mind doing this by myself, I wouldn't want it any other way, in fact.

I love being a mom, and we're both lucky that her dad is very supportive and ever-present, that she's got two parents that love her very much and spend so much of our time spoiling her rotten. Tonight as I was putting her to bed, her dad came to tell her goodnight. She requested "another kiss pleeeease" then asked if I would sing "sunshine song" again. As we reached the end of "You Are My Sunshine" she started singing along softly, a few words here and there, I smiled at her and she lifted her hands, finishing the song dramatically with a loud note and very impressive display of jazz hands... I laughed hard and long and she did too. She had no idea what kind of gift that was, but it was amazing for me. My little girl is quite the comedian at two years old. She's got a personality and a soul that far surpasses anything I could've ever expected, and I couldn't be more proud.

This Mothers Day was wonderful, and I'm so very lucky. Not even lonely could get this mama down tonight, I'm far too blessed for that. I've got no right to feel sorry for myself when there's so much promise and wonder in those eyes...

Everyone should watch this. <3

Photo from Here

Oh Swine flu... I don't know what to make of you. I think back about the Avian flu, SARS, Mad Cow Disease... I didn't get any of those. I didn't wear the masks or walk around constantly scared, then again none of those things had any direct impact on my life, swine flu is the same. No cases confirmed in my area and I'm a generally healthy person so I'm not all that worried.

What about you? Are y'all concerned about it? Do you live in an area where people are concerned? Are you seeing masks around town? Twitter's all abuzz and every major news station seems to have swine-flu-fever... Am I right in thinking the hype is worse than the actual problem here?



They totally made a poster for me

More swine flu lulz here!

Weight loss is hard.

I've been at a reasonable size for a year now, hoping to lose the last 15 lbs that I set out to lose so long ago, but with no luck this year. In fact, over the course of the year I gained 15... so now I have 30 to lose. Le sigh. I've been mighty discouraged but I've also been mighty lazy. I keep calling my extra weight my winter coat because it came on quickly when the weather got cold. Now that its nice I'm spending some time outside and really enjoying it. I went for a walk two nights ago and last night, a quick run! It was nice, but very obvious that I'm out of shape.

Gotta get to it!

Progress pictures make me feel so much better about where I'm at though, so here you go...


(Middle) Spring 2004


Summer 2005


Fall 2005


Fall 2005


The weekend I found out I was pregnant, Summer 2007


Wedding day


Very pregnant, Spring 2007


5 weeks post-delivery, April 2007


Summer 2007


August 2007


Fall 2007


Christmas 2007


February 2008


May 2008


August 2008


October 2008


January 2009


April 2009


Lots of change, lots of really good change... and lots more to come. :)

I've been a bad friend. Really, its one of my major downfalls... I get so wrapped up in a million things- kiddo, work, family, personal life... and I forget to concern myself with the people that matter the most to me.


My closest group of girlfriends, "the cubs" all grew apart recently and it was really hard for me. I noticed we were all talking less, then spending less time together, then all of the sudden there are hurt feelings and crappy arguments. We're hanging out more now, and its a good thing because two members of our five person clique are moving before the summer.


Bailey & Emily are both moving :(

I pride myself in having amazing friends who I am incredibly close with. Not a day goes by that I don't remark about how lucky I am. My daughter is growing up with a ridiculous amount of "Aunts" and I love that.


Darcy & I

I'm going to miss my girls, but I'm so thankful for the time I've spent with them. We've had some awesome laughs and I know they'll be in my life forever, regardless of where we all end up.


Bailey & I

Its hard for me to think about how my inaction has hurt others, because I certainly wouldn't ever try to be distant or less compassionate than I should... unfortunately it happens. Its so hard not to get completely wrapped up into my own life, especially when things are busy and complex.


Darcy, Bailey, & Zaynab

Emily B is an excellent example of this, while she's one of my very closest friends I hardly ever talk to her. When I do, we catch up and chat for as long as possible, but its still not as often as it should be. She lives far away so we can't just call each other up to drink wine and talk... and I tend not to text/call/email as often as I should. Its no good at all.



I'm not proud of a situation with a really close friend... We've known each other online for quite a while, and she's been an invaluable source of advice, support, and understanding during my separation and divorce. When I started dating again she was the first to ask how things were going, so excited for me... When she faced a rough spot in her life though, I didn't show her the same compassion as she showed me. I was too concerned with my own things to give any thoughts to hers, and right when she needed it the most... Its a real shame. I noticed she all but disappeared from my online life and it gave me such a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I immediately thought of how much she'd done for me and felt horrible.

C, I'm sorry I've been an awful friend. I love you tons and I realize what a slap in the face my distance has been. I'm very sorry. <3



I'm learning that the biggest part of having amazing friends is making sure they understand just how much I appreciate them. Putting effort into maintaining those relationships needs to take a much higher priority in my life, and it will be from here on out...

We teach our kids by example and I want Marti Pearl to grow up building healthy relationships... I need to make sure I am.

Ashley and I, bringing some fun to single mom-dom

I feel like I'm starting to become somewhat of an expert on single parent dating... it seems its only right of me to share some of my wisdom. There are so many misconceptions about what single moms want out of relationships so let me enlighten you... single moms want to have fun. We're thrillseekers, living on love and giggles. We are experts at play... we love fun and we simply can't get enough of it. Yes, being a single mom is tough, but its also one hell of an adventure. Very simply, we know what we want, and that's someone to adventure along with us.

There was no lack of sex in my marriage. My ex-husband and I both agree, in fact, that sex was not a factor in our divorce. If anything, it was part of the reason we stayed together as long as we did... Though at the ripe ol' age of (almost) 25 I find myself divorced, thinner than I was the last time I was a single woman, and completely ready to have some fun.


Yes, that's right... fun. I'm not looking to fall madly in love, to have a serious relationship, to settle down, to get married and pop out more kiddos... I'm simply looking to enjoy myself, and I don't see a damn thing wrong with that. You see, I realized something very important when I became a mom... on the whole, adults are entirely too serious. We spend our time planning and calculating, making grocery lists in our heads and dreaming of vacations from our mundane lives. We all do it, but we didn't always.

Do something for me... find a toddler. A 2 or 3 year old, find them and ask them a simple question: "Do you want to play?" You'd be hard pressed to find one that'd say no. Kids live to play, they love fun more than anything. The toy industry is thriving despite recalls and unfavorable economic conditions simply because play is important! As a single mom I spend at least half of my day just playing... watching the little one every day reminds me to just relax, enjoy the moment, and have fun at all times. I knew I was on the right track when a friend said "I like your excitement over the simplest things"


When I started dating again I became very familiar with "what are you looking for?" ...its everyone's favorite icebreaker. Its a tough question, the first few times I really struggled through it, explaining that I was fresh out of a divorce, not quite ready to start another relationship, a busy girl with very little time to invest into a relationship, a mom who always put her kiddo first... but I've since realized what I actually am looking for, and that's to just have some fun.

I recently woke up in bed with a man, it was a beautiful day with sunlight peeking through the blinds, and as I sat up in bed I could feel him looking at my backside so I turned to look at him. I was startled a little when I realized how intently he was taking in every bit, watching me as I fixed my messy hair and began to dress, his eyes fixed on my hips and breasts, I felt so truly beautiful... in my most basic form I was sharing myself with another person, and it was so intensely satisfying. Much more than touching or kissing, this was a different kind of lovemaking. I felt appreciated in a way that I hadn't in so very long... and now I'm hooked.


I want to play, dance, flirt, laugh and feel to the fullest extent... I want to know that I'm bringing joy to someone's life, while also taking some for myself! I want to eat up all of the thrills and leave everything else for another day. The greatest sexual revolution of my life thus far began when I started acting like a kid again.

I'm not shutting myself off from falling in love, in fact I'd love to fall head over heels and see it being a very real possibility in the future, but on my terms... When I'm good and ready. When I get into a relationship again, it will be one based on a mutual appreciation of fun, play, and daily adventures. It'll be someone who turns me on without even trying, who knows just what to say or do to make me melt, but most importantly someone who shares my love and excitement for the little things in life.

For now though... I'm just going to keep enjoying myself.