She's thrilled. Really. She's got a whole 3 teeth as of today with the 4th breaking the surface as I type... my poor nipples aren't very happy.
Monday, December 17, 2007
2
Here we go again...
She's thrilled. Really. She's got a whole 3 teeth as of today with the 4th breaking the surface as I type... my poor nipples aren't very happy.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
1
Cry It Out - a liberating experience?
Yep, I'm one of those moms. My baby cries, in her own crib, in her very own bedroom, just about every night now... even some days. No, that doesn't make me a terrible parent, and I promise she's still a cool kid full of happiness and rainbows. So much so, we've decided, she's just not interested in sleep. You see, when you're so absolutely fascinated with everything around you, sleep just doesn't sound like much fun.
There have been a few sleepless nights where in sore-boobed desperation I've asked her why she won't just go to sleep. That's when she looks at me with those big baby eyes saying "I can crawl, eat big people food, and I have teeth! Would you want to sleep through any of that?" and I understand it, I really do... I remember college... well, some of it. So I had to make a choice.... do I let her decide when she goes to bed, even if that means we're all up until 3 a.m. or do I start getting her used to going to bed on her own... putting herself to sleep...
It seemed so wrong- I work all day to try to keep her happy, why would I want to put her in bed with the purpose of letting her cry? She's always been one of those happy breastfed babies that has always gone straight to sleep as soon as you stick a boob in her mouth. When her pediatrician (baby-god) mentioned that she needed to start "soothing herself to sleep" even if it meant she cried for a while, our only question was "but how do we keep her awake long enough!?"
Now we know.
Lately she's either resisted the whole time by kicking or flailing, or she'll wake herself up the second her little tushy hits the crib mattress. I'm sure there's got to be something in the world that's more frustrating than that, but I sure can't think of anything.
So we started putting her down, letting her cry, and eventually she goes to sleep. I go in, make sure she's comfy and dry, cover her up, and she eventually falls asleep and sleeps all night. In the morning, she's my happy little bean again. Last night brought back memories of the Mad About You episode where Paul and Jamie sat outside the baby's room for hours listening to her cry... and by the end, the baby's asleep and they decide they've broken her heart. I watched that episode the weekend before I went into labor and swore up and down I'd never let my child cry herself to sleep... but I do, and I don't feel like her little heart is breaking... mine does, but hers seems just fine.
As husband-pants and I were sitting in the bathtub (our big people retreat, after baby goes to bed) talking about matters unrelated to bean, I started thinking about how badly I've neglected my good friends... two, in particular, and how much I needed some time to myself. I've been justifying not taking a break for months now by saying that since I breastfeed bean and she refuses to take a bottle that it'd be hard for me to leave her with husband-pants at night. Now, though, I'm not solely responsible for getting her to sleep. I make sure she's fed, but the rest can be easily done by anyone else... that is awesome.
I never thought that I'd be able to share the responsibility of bedtime with anyone else in the way that I'm able to now, at least until after bean was weaned... I'm thrilled with it, really. Bedtime used to be my time... After I fed her I'd watch her sleep for a while before I laid her down. I had a certain way I covered her up every night, a routine... and that's different now, but I'm ok with it. Husband-pants feels more involved, bean gets better sleep, and I get a little time to myself. This weekend I plan to go out with my friends and recharge... every mom needs a break, and I'm well overdue. I'm excited about getting out and having no worries about bean girl for a little while, because I know she's fed, and husband-pants can handle the rest, and there's something so absolutely liberating about that.
There have been a few sleepless nights where in sore-boobed desperation I've asked her why she won't just go to sleep. That's when she looks at me with those big baby eyes saying "I can crawl, eat big people food, and I have teeth! Would you want to sleep through any of that?" and I understand it, I really do... I remember college... well, some of it. So I had to make a choice.... do I let her decide when she goes to bed, even if that means we're all up until 3 a.m. or do I start getting her used to going to bed on her own... putting herself to sleep...
It seemed so wrong- I work all day to try to keep her happy, why would I want to put her in bed with the purpose of letting her cry? She's always been one of those happy breastfed babies that has always gone straight to sleep as soon as you stick a boob in her mouth. When her pediatrician (baby-god) mentioned that she needed to start "soothing herself to sleep" even if it meant she cried for a while, our only question was "but how do we keep her awake long enough!?"
Now we know.
Lately she's either resisted the whole time by kicking or flailing, or she'll wake herself up the second her little tushy hits the crib mattress. I'm sure there's got to be something in the world that's more frustrating than that, but I sure can't think of anything.
So we started putting her down, letting her cry, and eventually she goes to sleep. I go in, make sure she's comfy and dry, cover her up, and she eventually falls asleep and sleeps all night. In the morning, she's my happy little bean again. Last night brought back memories of the Mad About You episode where Paul and Jamie sat outside the baby's room for hours listening to her cry... and by the end, the baby's asleep and they decide they've broken her heart. I watched that episode the weekend before I went into labor and swore up and down I'd never let my child cry herself to sleep... but I do, and I don't feel like her little heart is breaking... mine does, but hers seems just fine.
As husband-pants and I were sitting in the bathtub (our big people retreat, after baby goes to bed) talking about matters unrelated to bean, I started thinking about how badly I've neglected my good friends... two, in particular, and how much I needed some time to myself. I've been justifying not taking a break for months now by saying that since I breastfeed bean and she refuses to take a bottle that it'd be hard for me to leave her with husband-pants at night. Now, though, I'm not solely responsible for getting her to sleep. I make sure she's fed, but the rest can be easily done by anyone else... that is awesome.
I never thought that I'd be able to share the responsibility of bedtime with anyone else in the way that I'm able to now, at least until after bean was weaned... I'm thrilled with it, really. Bedtime used to be my time... After I fed her I'd watch her sleep for a while before I laid her down. I had a certain way I covered her up every night, a routine... and that's different now, but I'm ok with it. Husband-pants feels more involved, bean gets better sleep, and I get a little time to myself. This weekend I plan to go out with my friends and recharge... every mom needs a break, and I'm well overdue. I'm excited about getting out and having no worries about bean girl for a little while, because I know she's fed, and husband-pants can handle the rest, and there's something so absolutely liberating about that.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
2
Controversy!
In my other blog I asked my readers to give me their opinions on important parenting matters. It started as curiosity on my part and ended up with an overwhelming response from some very opinionated women, all sharing their parenting philosophies. This sounds like quite a recipe for disaster, I know, but really, everyone played nicely despite differing opinions.
Here are some excerpts...
Breastfeeding
Free baby nutrition? I'm all for it. At the mall, at church, at the Wal-Mart... when ever baby is hungry. Whip it out.
K, no kids yet (hopefully soon!) - Poway, CA
i really think that all mom's should give their best, most honest effort to nurse their babies. i don't think a mom should ever have to cover up and i think they should be allowed to nurse anywhere, anytime without being hassled. i honestly don't care if someone is uncomfortable with it in public. if you are out in public, you get to deal with the public. i'm uncomfortable with people cursing loudly around my kids, but sometimes you just have to deal with it.
K, mom of 2, with another on the way - Fort Bragg, NC
i had one child that did it for over a year, one that wouldnt have anything to do with it after 6 months, and another who was way too tiny, that i had to pump and give it to him that way. all babies are different, but i truly believe that all mothers should atleast attempt to breastfeed...and if the baby won't, then pumping is the next best thing. breast is best...so why wouldn't a mom give her baby the absolute best?
A, mom of 3, Louisville, KY
Great for those who can do it. I wish everyone could. I think the goal should be to make sure that women who choose to do it get all the support they need learning, and that women who choose not to are not made to feel guilty. I started out breastfeeding, but because of a condition my child had, it turned out anything with lactose was basically poison. Not just lactose intolerance, but very very bad. But you can't walk around wearing a t shirt that says "My child has galactosemia." I didn't get any crap from anyone for not breastfeeding, but I know a lot of people do. At least she got the first two weeks, and got all those lovely antibodies.
A, mom of 1 - Lanesboro, MN
I didn't do it because I had infected milk ducts and couldn't, but if you can and you want to then go ahead with your bad self. I do hate all the breastfeeding nazis out there who try to shame women who choose not to or just plain can't. Sometimes you just can't, and I don't think giving people shit about it or saying "oh you didn't try hard enough" ultimately helps anyone.
E, mom of 1 - Fort Smith, AR
Co-Sleeping
This just sounds like a bad idea to me. I can't stand that our pets sleep with us, so I can't imagine I'd feel good about my baby sleeping with us. I don't mind having a bassinet in the room up to 4 or 5 months old, but not in a bed with me. No thanks.
R, no kids (yet!) - South Carolina
co-sleeping meaning sleeping within close proximity but may or may not be on the same surface- not a problem with that. it's great for when they are really little and still waking up at night. if you mean bed-sharing, then i think where ever EVERYONE in the family gets the best rest then that's where they should sleep. if having a family bed works for a family, that's great, but if it doesn't work for everyone then i don't think it should be pursued. i will never be one of those moms who kicks my husband out of our bed cause he isn't on-board with having a family bed. i'd just move the baby to a bassinet or crib next to our bed (which is what we did with the boys.)
K, mom of 2, with another on the way - Fort Bragg, NC
I FULLY support co sleeping. I mean, think about it......you and your baby are LITERALLY attached for 9 months and all of the sudden, one day, you rip her from the only world she's known and force her to be isolated and feel alone in a world where she can't communicate? No no no. If people don't want to do it, that's ok, I think it's kind of wrong though. If you don't want your baby in your bed, I think a co-sleeper is a good alternative. I am TOTALLY against putting newborns in their own rooms.
C, mom of 2 with another on the way - California
Spanking/Discipline
As with all other areas of parenting, pragmatism is king in this issue. I think it's a bit foolhardy to say that spanking is never OK, because you may encounter a situation where spanking is appropriate. My general notion is that spanking is best as a last resort, and only a swat or two to get the point across, not to cause anything beyond momentary physical discomfort. I've met some lame people who were never spanked as children and I've met some excellent people who got the tar beat out of them on a regular basis. This just means that every child is different, every possible disciplinary situation is different, and the thing to do is use your best judgment and aim for keeping your temper in check.
A, mom of 1 - Arizona (I don't know your real name either! ugh! Sorry!)
I've read various schools of thought on this. The one that sticks with me and makes the most sense (to me as a hoping-to-be-a-mom-someday) is: Only use spanking/corporal punishment when the child has done something to endanger themselves or others rather than for just disobeying.
K, no kids yet (hopefully soon!) - Poway, CA
spanking is a no no in our house, as it was in my house growing up. we dicipline with time outs and we have grounded our older ones before (it takes ALOT for us to do that). we can usually talk out our problems.
A, mom of 3 - Louisville, KY
...hasn't really been an issue yet; S is pretty good. I think it will be soon as she is getting more defiant every day. My parents spanked us if we really deserved it for doing something dangerous, ferinstance, if we ran out into traffic without waiting for them. If you don't spank often, when you HAVE to it makes more of an impression.
R, mom of 1 - Faulkner County, AR
I do not believe spanking is an effective method of dicipline. I was hit as a child and it did nothing but frighten me and I don't think a child benefits from being frightened. I give my son a warning and explain to him why he cannot do whatever he may be doing wrong and tell him if he does it again he will get a time out. This usually works but sometimes he needs the time out. He goes right to time out without fussing everytime and when he has sat for 2 mins I come and explain what he has done wrong and why he can't do that and he will repeat me, apologise, give me a hug and kiss and it's done. I believe it's more beneficial for him to understand why not to do something then just be too afraid to do it so he won't be hit.
F, mom of 2 - Peterborough, Canada
I am on the fence about this one. I think that the bottom line is that we shouldn't discipline our children out of anger. And I think the punishment should fit the crime, so to speak.
C, mom of 2 with another on the way - California
To read the full discussion, click here.
What do you think?
Here are some excerpts...
Breastfeeding
Free baby nutrition? I'm all for it. At the mall, at church, at the Wal-Mart... when ever baby is hungry. Whip it out.
K, no kids yet (hopefully soon!) - Poway, CA
i really think that all mom's should give their best, most honest effort to nurse their babies. i don't think a mom should ever have to cover up and i think they should be allowed to nurse anywhere, anytime without being hassled. i honestly don't care if someone is uncomfortable with it in public. if you are out in public, you get to deal with the public. i'm uncomfortable with people cursing loudly around my kids, but sometimes you just have to deal with it.
K, mom of 2, with another on the way - Fort Bragg, NC
i had one child that did it for over a year, one that wouldnt have anything to do with it after 6 months, and another who was way too tiny, that i had to pump and give it to him that way. all babies are different, but i truly believe that all mothers should atleast attempt to breastfeed...and if the baby won't, then pumping is the next best thing. breast is best...so why wouldn't a mom give her baby the absolute best?
A, mom of 3, Louisville, KY
Great for those who can do it. I wish everyone could. I think the goal should be to make sure that women who choose to do it get all the support they need learning, and that women who choose not to are not made to feel guilty. I started out breastfeeding, but because of a condition my child had, it turned out anything with lactose was basically poison. Not just lactose intolerance, but very very bad. But you can't walk around wearing a t shirt that says "My child has galactosemia." I didn't get any crap from anyone for not breastfeeding, but I know a lot of people do. At least she got the first two weeks, and got all those lovely antibodies.
A, mom of 1 - Lanesboro, MN
I didn't do it because I had infected milk ducts and couldn't, but if you can and you want to then go ahead with your bad self. I do hate all the breastfeeding nazis out there who try to shame women who choose not to or just plain can't. Sometimes you just can't, and I don't think giving people shit about it or saying "oh you didn't try hard enough" ultimately helps anyone.
E, mom of 1 - Fort Smith, AR
Co-Sleeping
This just sounds like a bad idea to me. I can't stand that our pets sleep with us, so I can't imagine I'd feel good about my baby sleeping with us. I don't mind having a bassinet in the room up to 4 or 5 months old, but not in a bed with me. No thanks.
R, no kids (yet!) - South Carolina
co-sleeping meaning sleeping within close proximity but may or may not be on the same surface- not a problem with that. it's great for when they are really little and still waking up at night. if you mean bed-sharing, then i think where ever EVERYONE in the family gets the best rest then that's where they should sleep. if having a family bed works for a family, that's great, but if it doesn't work for everyone then i don't think it should be pursued. i will never be one of those moms who kicks my husband out of our bed cause he isn't on-board with having a family bed. i'd just move the baby to a bassinet or crib next to our bed (which is what we did with the boys.)
K, mom of 2, with another on the way - Fort Bragg, NC
I FULLY support co sleeping. I mean, think about it......you and your baby are LITERALLY attached for 9 months and all of the sudden, one day, you rip her from the only world she's known and force her to be isolated and feel alone in a world where she can't communicate? No no no. If people don't want to do it, that's ok, I think it's kind of wrong though. If you don't want your baby in your bed, I think a co-sleeper is a good alternative. I am TOTALLY against putting newborns in their own rooms.
C, mom of 2 with another on the way - California
Spanking/Discipline
As with all other areas of parenting, pragmatism is king in this issue. I think it's a bit foolhardy to say that spanking is never OK, because you may encounter a situation where spanking is appropriate. My general notion is that spanking is best as a last resort, and only a swat or two to get the point across, not to cause anything beyond momentary physical discomfort. I've met some lame people who were never spanked as children and I've met some excellent people who got the tar beat out of them on a regular basis. This just means that every child is different, every possible disciplinary situation is different, and the thing to do is use your best judgment and aim for keeping your temper in check.
A, mom of 1 - Arizona (I don't know your real name either! ugh! Sorry!)
I've read various schools of thought on this. The one that sticks with me and makes the most sense (to me as a hoping-to-be-a-mom-someday) is: Only use spanking/corporal punishment when the child has done something to endanger themselves or others rather than for just disobeying.
K, no kids yet (hopefully soon!) - Poway, CA
spanking is a no no in our house, as it was in my house growing up. we dicipline with time outs and we have grounded our older ones before (it takes ALOT for us to do that). we can usually talk out our problems.
A, mom of 3 - Louisville, KY
...hasn't really been an issue yet; S is pretty good. I think it will be soon as she is getting more defiant every day. My parents spanked us if we really deserved it for doing something dangerous, ferinstance, if we ran out into traffic without waiting for them. If you don't spank often, when you HAVE to it makes more of an impression.
R, mom of 1 - Faulkner County, AR
I do not believe spanking is an effective method of dicipline. I was hit as a child and it did nothing but frighten me and I don't think a child benefits from being frightened. I give my son a warning and explain to him why he cannot do whatever he may be doing wrong and tell him if he does it again he will get a time out. This usually works but sometimes he needs the time out. He goes right to time out without fussing everytime and when he has sat for 2 mins I come and explain what he has done wrong and why he can't do that and he will repeat me, apologise, give me a hug and kiss and it's done. I believe it's more beneficial for him to understand why not to do something then just be too afraid to do it so he won't be hit.
F, mom of 2 - Peterborough, Canada
I am on the fence about this one. I think that the bottom line is that we shouldn't discipline our children out of anger. And I think the punishment should fit the crime, so to speak.
C, mom of 2 with another on the way - California
To read the full discussion, click here.
What do you think?
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
0
Friday, November 2, 2007
0
Yeowch!
Man, I know a kid's gotta chew but good lord!? Why is it that she's never been interested in gnawing on my nipple until she's got 2 sharp pointy little teeth!?!?!?!
Sweet Jesus I'm dying over here!
Oh, and she's just too cute when she does it too. She's like "nom nom nom" and I'm screaming and jumping off the couch and she just looks at me and laughs.
HA HA real funny, diaper monster. reeeeaaaaal funny.
Sweet Jesus I'm dying over here!
Oh, and she's just too cute when she does it too. She's like "nom nom nom" and I'm screaming and jumping off the couch and she just looks at me and laughs.
HA HA real funny, diaper monster. reeeeaaaaal funny.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
0
Weigh-In October
I had gotten down to 154lbs, 155 consistently. I signed up to take part in a local online Biggest Loser challenge in a local playgroup, and I was really psyched about possibly winning, or at least losing a ton of weight in time for Christmas. After all, I really don't have much further to go!
Well this weekend, Husband-pants and I got to go out on our own, as husband and wife, not as parents. We dropped the kidlet off with my mom and headed to Chili's where I treated myself to 2 Coca-Colas (an absolute no-no normally) a half serving of Cajun Chicken Pasta (a whopping 1500 calories and 78 grams of fat) and too many chips & salsa. *sigh* I justified all of this because I have been the picture of willpower for weeks, eating well and refraining from anything high in calories or generally unhealthy. Everyone deserves a splurge every once in a while- right?
Well then today we were out and about, we went hiking around a local tourist attraction. It was nice and we worked up an appetite... we were trying to figure out where to eat as the baby fell asleep. We debated on going to the grocery store and heading home to eat lunch and spend the day lazing around the house, but husband-pants decided against it. He's gotten better at surprises lately and drove us to Tontitown for pasta at our favorite Italian restaurant. Normally I would've protested, but he took a back way (very sneaky) and before I knew where he was taking us, we were nearly there. I got a half serving of spaghetti with meat sauce (and I'm glad I don't know what the calorie/fat content is... sheesh) and ate 1 roll. 2 glasses of water. It was a great lunch and I overate a bit, but I wasn't beating myself up.
On the way home, however, I did beat myself up. I beat myself up in the most ridiculous of ways... and I'm so angry at myself for doing it! Andy's frozen custard is my favorite indulgence in the world... I mean, really. I gained over half of my pregnancy weight because of my late-night Andy's runs. It is HEAVEN. After I abstained from custard earlier this week citing a migraine, Marshall decided I deserved some. I ate a big delicious pumpkin pie frozen custard. Oh yes, I didn't just eat the custard, it had an ENTIRE PIECE of pumpkin pie blended in with it. Jesus.
I just weighed myself and my grand total of weight gained over the weekend is 6 lbs.
I could cry.
Husband-pants totally enables me to eat so bad... I do SO well when I'm by myself during the week but when I'm with him all bets are off. I've got to get better about eating well, and convincing him to do the same.
October brought more weight loss, regardless of my bad behavior, and I weighed in back at 154. I'm officially down to a size 12 and I've lost a total of 4 lbs.
Oh, and Bean made a great skunk for Halloween.
Friday, October 26, 2007
0
Teeth!
Ok, I've already said I'm way spoiled.
Bean is an awesome baby who lets me sleep tons, plays by herself during the day so I can work, hardly ever cries (hungry/sleepy/scared of strange people wanting to hold her) and eats really well. I'm a spoiled mom and I'll never have another for fear that I'd have a baby who would require more sleepless nights and even more attention. Yeah, its kindof selfish, but I'm allowed, I've been through the newborn phase.
So lately Bean and I have had some very trying times. She hasn't wanted to sleep, she's wanted to eat more than normal, and NO ONE touches the baby but mom. I figured all of this was due to allergies and reaching new milestones. I wasn't as concerned as I was totally frazzled. I was lacking sleep and patience, and I desperately needed a teeny tiny baby-break. One that still seems very out of reach...
Yesterday was bad. Bean didn't want to play by herself at all... she didn't want to sleep, she just wanted to eat, or hang out on my lap. I didn't mind that so much (though it did make it hard to get any work done) but I was INCREDIBLY frustrated that every time I laid her down in her crib she sprung back up, not necessarily upset, but definitely not sleepy. She'd play for a few moments, then back to the boob. We did this probably ten times yesterday and by the eleventh, I was practically in tears.
She was fussy and I couldn't get her to stay asleep... she was mighty cuddly, and she wouldn't let me put her down. I think it was the sight of her crying with one finger hooked in her lip that made me think "teeth?" which, believe me... I've thought many times before (so many, in fact that Husband-pants started adding it to his list of things that could potentially be making her cry: diaper? food? teeth? deep baby thoughts about the state of the nation's economy?) but no teeth were ever there, so we finally stopped assuming that was what was up. I stuck my finger in her little baby mouth and lo and behold! there were teeth! One and a half of them! Right there on the bottom. Joy! Now of course, this called for some serious snuggling and phone calls to the grandparents. Fussy babies are one thing, teeth are another!
I still can't shake that yucky feeling that I'm a terrible mommy for being so frustrated that she was fussy but I'm told it happens to all of us. Its further solidified the feeling that a mini-mommy vacation is necesary, and should happen as soon as possible. Not because I don't love my child (and her teeth) but because sometimes even moms, in all of their infinite wisdom and love can totally overlook all of the signs and say "what in the world is wrong with you, drooly crying thing!?" especially when exhaustion, stress, and teeth come into play.
Bean is an awesome baby who lets me sleep tons, plays by herself during the day so I can work, hardly ever cries (hungry/sleepy/scared of strange people wanting to hold her) and eats really well. I'm a spoiled mom and I'll never have another for fear that I'd have a baby who would require more sleepless nights and even more attention. Yeah, its kindof selfish, but I'm allowed, I've been through the newborn phase.
So lately Bean and I have had some very trying times. She hasn't wanted to sleep, she's wanted to eat more than normal, and NO ONE touches the baby but mom. I figured all of this was due to allergies and reaching new milestones. I wasn't as concerned as I was totally frazzled. I was lacking sleep and patience, and I desperately needed a teeny tiny baby-break. One that still seems very out of reach...
Yesterday was bad. Bean didn't want to play by herself at all... she didn't want to sleep, she just wanted to eat, or hang out on my lap. I didn't mind that so much (though it did make it hard to get any work done) but I was INCREDIBLY frustrated that every time I laid her down in her crib she sprung back up, not necessarily upset, but definitely not sleepy. She'd play for a few moments, then back to the boob. We did this probably ten times yesterday and by the eleventh, I was practically in tears.
She was fussy and I couldn't get her to stay asleep... she was mighty cuddly, and she wouldn't let me put her down. I think it was the sight of her crying with one finger hooked in her lip that made me think "teeth?" which, believe me... I've thought many times before (so many, in fact that Husband-pants started adding it to his list of things that could potentially be making her cry: diaper? food? teeth? deep baby thoughts about the state of the nation's economy?) but no teeth were ever there, so we finally stopped assuming that was what was up. I stuck my finger in her little baby mouth and lo and behold! there were teeth! One and a half of them! Right there on the bottom. Joy! Now of course, this called for some serious snuggling and phone calls to the grandparents. Fussy babies are one thing, teeth are another!
I still can't shake that yucky feeling that I'm a terrible mommy for being so frustrated that she was fussy but I'm told it happens to all of us. Its further solidified the feeling that a mini-mommy vacation is necesary, and should happen as soon as possible. Not because I don't love my child (and her teeth) but because sometimes even moms, in all of their infinite wisdom and love can totally overlook all of the signs and say "what in the world is wrong with you, drooly crying thing!?" especially when exhaustion, stress, and teeth come into play.
