Lusting after Cowmooflage

Dear Target,

Here's the deal, baby... this mama is pissed. This girl ordered a Britax Marathon Car Seat in Cowmooflage, otherwise known as mana from diaper heaven. I was super pumped because I found it for ridiculously cheap. I loved it, it fell into my lap (thanks, My dear Smarmy Mama) and I ordered it with an urgency only a parent could understand. When I ordered it, I realized the deal I was getting was RIDIC, but I was thrilled nonetheless. A huge company like Target gets to make some amazing deals... I'll even make a confession- I broke out the "secret" credit card for this baby.

(I have a feeling you moms out there understand how freaking serious I was about this stupid carseat. And I'm sure you can imagine my immediate disappointment when I received the email stating that I would not be receiving this precious item. In fact, LOADS of moms all over the interwebz felt the same way. Yes, Target let us down.)

I'm a very understanding mama. I'm alright with your shoe aisle looking a little post-Iwo Jima-esque, I don't complain when the quality of (some of) your clothes don't meet my normally lowish standards, hell, I even love you despite the fact that you close earlier than Wal-Mart and don't carry groceries. So much so that I make a special trip to see you once a week...

I'm afraid though, that despite the $25 gift card you sent me via email, I'm just gonna have to say "Nopers" this time around. Here's the deal... there was a mistake made, the carseat was mispriced, that's unfortunate for everyone (except for your customers, of course) but at the end of the day, you as a retailer have let us down. Us working moms (is there any other kind?) who are saving every penny we can, saw a great deal and jumped on it. You then canceled it, leaving us quite unsure of our relationship with you. Yes, we can and will continue to shop there, we'll still spend our money, but will our love be the same? No way, man. You messed up.

Its going to be a difficult road from here on out, you'll still benefit from it of course, but you'll feel our wrath... which I'm sure you can imagine is brutal. (Hell hath no fury like an overworked mom without a rightfully deserved AND PAID FOR carseat, right?) We'll be passive-aggressive with it, letting those grubby little fingers touch things we'd normally avoid at all costs... Our children will suddenly become capable of things you weren't aware of because so far we've been keeping those little mess machines in check... but just you wait- you're going to get it.

I don't threaten often, but when it comes to pb&j fingerprints and sad mamas wishing for cow-printed carseats, I am oh so serious. Prepare yourself.

I do hope that at some point you'll win back my trust, because our love affair has been oh so satisfying up to this point, but we'll see. This girl isn't as romantic as she used to be. I know a few THOUSAND mamas feeling the same way, wishing you'd just make it right. Hell, we're not even asking you to get a babysitter, take us out to dinner, or do the damn dishes, we just want you to follow through with a promise you made to us via your secure online ordering system. One per household, ok... I can deal, just give us that cowmooflage we're missing. Love us like we want you to!

Heather Kendrick-Gerlaugh
Mom of one, currently rocking the non-posh carseat, dreaming of more