Out with the old, in more ways than one.

I sit, typing to you with barf in my hair and a very unhappy kiddo. Bean girl is sickly. Fever, puking, the whole messy awful no fun 9 yards. Her dad brought her home this morning and the first thing she did was lay down on my shoulder and say "Mama I throw up" which in sick-kid language is just a total crap sandwich. Poor little thing.

Also, kids thermometers? What a joke. I bought this Spongebob $10 jobber at Wal-Mart a while back, and short of sticking it in her tush can't get an accurate reading ever. Its unfortunate too, because there's no way I'm gonna add insult to injury- if she's sick, I'll take her to the doctor hoping she's got a fever before I pull down that diaper. For that reason, I shelled out a bit more for one of those ear-mometers, the more reliable kind.

Unfortunately, I can't find it. The last time I remembered, it lived in my closet in my room at my (now former) friend's house. We had a pretty nasty friend breakup recently and I've tried not to air too much of my dirty laundry in those regards on the interwebz, but I am hot.

Here's the dialogue:

Me (11:34 AM):
I don't want any drama, just have a question. Was there a kids ear thermometer in the closet near the sippy cup? I can't find it & thought it was there.
Me (11:35 AM):
MP is really sick, I just need to find the good thermometer

Her (11:47 AM):
No. Everything of yours that was in my house was packed and given to you. I have nothing else of yours.

Me (11:51 AM):
What I am asking is when you packed everything up did you see it? I have a very sick baby and just need to know if its in there somewhere.

Her (11:57 AM):
What I am telling you is NO! You would have it if it was anywhere in your room. Don't text me anymore! I have NOTHING of yours in my house. Take her to the DR.

There's just no sense in that. To lose our entire friendship so suddenly and dramatically came as a shock to say the very least, but this is just uncalled for. I've fought the urge to write about how I feel in regards to our breakup, to complain that I feel sad, disappointed, pissed off...

I've resisted simply out of respect for her privacy, because as Ms. Single Mama said this morning "single mom or not - I’ve never been one to censor myself for fear of judgment."

I'm still not going to go to the lengths of reporting all of the things that were said and done which were irreparably damaging to our friendship. I don't need to smear her name at all. I feel like I'm doing a good job of mourning that relationship, and come to terms with the hard fact that she won't ever be a part of our lives again.

The hardest thought is that she'll never get to see the bean as she grows and experience her love and light, but there's no way I can allow anyone to dim that light with anger & jealousy... She simply deserves more than that. Honestly, we both do.

Its so very hard, but days like today make it so much easier. I'm very blessed to have many good friends that genuinely and deeply love us. Only moments after tweeting that Bean was sick, I received a text from a new, yet very close friend offering to run to the store and get that thermometer we were missing. Having people that benefit and enrich our lives with support, love, and real compassion is so necessary for parents. It is absolutely vital for single moms & dads.

I'm still sad to have lost that friendship, and It'll take a very long time for the hurt to subside, but its truly made me realize just how lucky I am to have so many people that care about us. A huge thank you to all of my friends, and to this beautiful little girl who just keeps providing me with wonderful life lessons. The same little girl, actually, whose fever has come down (according to my trusty mama-hand-mometer) and who is officially holding down crackers & Pedialyte. Yay for well babies, good friends, and cutting out the negative.


July 20, 2009 at 12:40 PM Anonymous said...

I super feel you on this one. Seems so insignificant, but I've gone through a million shit thermometers (i.e. CHEAP) and this year sprung for the nicey nice ear one. And it's so handy, so nice on the kiddos......and really, if you don't have to shell out the extra cash for an EXTRA one, why should you? I get that she is angry, but at a certain point put that shit aside and just be human, for petes sake. Don't have it? A simple "no" would suffice. Oy.

July 22, 2009 at 8:37 AM Bex said...

I too, recently bailed myself out of a bad friendship. The problem is, the rest of my friends went with it too. Sad, really. It's tough meeting new people when you have a little one that (rightfully) consumes most of your time.

My hope now is to meet some new, warm people that will enrich mine and my daughter's life in ways that my old friend wasn't capable of doing.

Get better soon, Bean! :)

July 23, 2009 at 7:40 AM April Brown said...

Poor MP! I hope she's all better now.
Also, your cat could be my cat's twin!

July 24, 2009 at 12:46 AM Jon Cox said...

Friendship breakups suck :(
So do sick babies when all you wanna do is make them stop hurting.

August 4, 2009 at 12:46 PM Best When Used By said...

I'm here via Onesmarmymama. She says it's your birthday! So I wanted to wish you a happy, happy birthday!

Since I was here, I read your last post about your daughter and the whole thermometer issue. Not that you asked for it, but I'd be happy to offer some fever/thermometer advice. I was a pediatric nurse for 8 years, worked mostly in ICU and have worked hospitals around the country (I went back to school and am now a lawyer). In the hospital we used ear thermometers for the bigger kids, but for little ones, we generally used an old fashioned mercury thermometer. You raise the child's arm up, tuck the thermometer into the very deepest, center part of the arm pit, and close the arm down snugly and hold for 2 minutes or so. Keeping the arm resting closed is important, but it is non-invasive, doesn't hurt and gives you a pretty good reading. Also, if you're having trouble getting a fever to come down, use cool wash cloths or cold packs wrapped in a towel and place them on key spots: inside elbows, behind knees, neck, forehead. Not too cold, but cooling areas where large blood vessles come to the surface will help lower temperature.

Anyway, sorry for butting in. Hope you have a wonderful birthday.

August 11, 2009 at 1:09 PM Melissa said...

It looks like you had an awesome 25th birthday!!! And I LOVE the dress-up picture!!! SO CUTE!!!... GO LEOS!!! I am a Leo too (August 18th)... I'll be 28 though.

- Melissa