Mothers Day, now with Jazz Hands!

This mothers day was just a lazy Sunday for me.
I'm not complaining, don't get me wrong... any Sunday that I get to take off of work, play with my little girl, and take a nap whenever I see fit is my kind of Sunday. I also had dinner with my mom and sister, drove in a big circle around my lovely rainy town, and caught up with my best friend while watching a good movie. It was a fantastic day.

It was not, however, a day that I received breakfast in bed or a handmade card, or a flower from my kiddo. It was my first Mothers Day as a single mom, and it was a little harder than I expected, quite honestly. I really spent a little bit of my day feeling sorry for myself, not because my toddler was too busy watching Max & Ruby to shower me with gifts, but because I was lonely. That's a hard thing for me to admit, its much more personal than I prefer to get in such a public forum... but there it is. When your kiddos are young, mothers day isn't so much "hey mom, look what I made for you" - its more "hey, go kiss your mommy on the cheek" and today, there was no one prompting my little monster to do or say sweet things. It served as a reminder that I really am doing this on my own, and that's hard sometimes. Then I realized that I was moping around because there was no one making plans to make my mothers day special, and I felt so absolutely silly for it.

As I laid down with Marti Pearl to read "Blue Hat Green Hat" or "Yellow Hat Book!!!!" as she calls it, for the 947th time in a row... I looked at her, smiled, and kissed her on the forehead. She sat up, grabbed my cheeks with her chubby little fingers and kissed me straight on the mouth, a good 15 seconds of apple-juice scented toddler lips pressed to mine, then a little giggle. She laid her head on my chest and pulled my t-shirt up just a little to play with my belly button for the remainder of her bedtime story... When her story was done we sang a couple songs, then talked for a bit, about snakes and stars and belly buttons and trampolines... its times like those that I don't mind doing this by myself, I wouldn't want it any other way, in fact.

I love being a mom, and we're both lucky that her dad is very supportive and ever-present, that she's got two parents that love her very much and spend so much of our time spoiling her rotten. Tonight as I was putting her to bed, her dad came to tell her goodnight. She requested "another kiss pleeeease" then asked if I would sing "sunshine song" again. As we reached the end of "You Are My Sunshine" she started singing along softly, a few words here and there, I smiled at her and she lifted her hands, finishing the song dramatically with a loud note and very impressive display of jazz hands... I laughed hard and long and she did too. She had no idea what kind of gift that was, but it was amazing for me. My little girl is quite the comedian at two years old. She's got a personality and a soul that far surpasses anything I could've ever expected, and I couldn't be more proud.

This Mothers Day was wonderful, and I'm so very lucky. Not even lonely could get this mama down tonight, I'm far too blessed for that. I've got no right to feel sorry for myself when there's so much promise and wonder in those eyes...


May 28, 2009 at 11:58 AM Priscilla said...

Love you, hon. I wish that I was more of a clear and present person in your and Marti's lovely life. I'm always here for you and it's amazing to have this forum to at least virtually peek into your world. Marti is gorgeous...just like her Mama! Much love, Priscilla